Excellent, horrifying, realistic. Conveys the horror of being on the receiving end of this obsession without saying a single word about the woman's reaction, or indeed, anything about her at all. The unnamed heroine remains undescribed beyond the icon the antihero makes of her. This mirrors the overall sense of imbalance that permeates the piece. His only thoughts are his own needs and desires, not hers; he is imprisoned, she is free but he is trying to tie her to his fate.
The reader's imagination is left spinning scenarios of what comes next. This may be enough. Or perhaps you have more to tell? The last paragraph leaves me unsure of this. You asked for a harsh critique; this is the only thing I can find fault in. I don't like the sentence "By the end, he unraveled." What is the end? What marks the end? Was there not another letter after the one you describe here? If not, why not? Saying he unraveled suggests he was together in the first place. This is why the final paragraph does not seem like a real ending, but just where you stopped typing.
I also love the artwork. Is it yours? You asked how to center the credit. IDK what you mean by that.
Great work. The fierce passion of words of promise—then sadness at the end. Very moving.
This is a heartbreaking journey, Sarah. Thank you for writing it.
Excellent, horrifying, realistic. Conveys the horror of being on the receiving end of this obsession without saying a single word about the woman's reaction, or indeed, anything about her at all. The unnamed heroine remains undescribed beyond the icon the antihero makes of her. This mirrors the overall sense of imbalance that permeates the piece. His only thoughts are his own needs and desires, not hers; he is imprisoned, she is free but he is trying to tie her to his fate.
The reader's imagination is left spinning scenarios of what comes next. This may be enough. Or perhaps you have more to tell? The last paragraph leaves me unsure of this. You asked for a harsh critique; this is the only thing I can find fault in. I don't like the sentence "By the end, he unraveled." What is the end? What marks the end? Was there not another letter after the one you describe here? If not, why not? Saying he unraveled suggests he was together in the first place. This is why the final paragraph does not seem like a real ending, but just where you stopped typing.
I also love the artwork. Is it yours? You asked how to center the credit. IDK what you mean by that.
So familiar. So toxic. Well written. Never trust promises and love bombing. Possession. Yeah. He wished. You don’t wait. You live you. You rise